...In a Heap of Polyester and Metal

Riding a bike can provide you with many things: fitness, a sanity break, some solitude, a new view of a familiar road, and entertainment. I’ve found much of the entertainment is from those you ride with. Really, when everything is said and done, and everyone is basically OK, is there anything funnier than a good crash? Especially when it’s not you?

One of the funnier crashes I saw was while I was at work. I was on a midnight shift and a cool early summer night with Cabana Boy and Gerber Baby, two co-workers. (Needless to say, Gerber Baby wasn’t very fond of his nickname.) Cabana Boy and I were riding behind some houses when we heard some passionate noises from an open bedroom window. In the true spirit of messing around, Cabana Boy and I found a spot in the shadows and called for Gerber Baby to meet us. Now, what we were expecting was for Gerber Baby to ride to where we were, hear the exchange and become slightly embarrassed. It worked out much better than that.

Gerber Baby’s bike skills weren’t the best and the bikes we rode were a little heavy. When Gerber Baby approached, he tried to hop a curb, and didn’t quite get the front wheel up high enough. I have to say, it was a pretty spectacular crash. Gerber Baby wasn’t going quite fast enough to go over the handle bars, but was going fast enough to get the rear wheel off the ground. He gave his best effort to recover, but it just wasn’t going to happen. Gerber Baby went down. Hard. And he wasn’t very quiet about it.

The tryst in the house stopped immediately, and the participants looked out the window to see a guy in shorts and a dark blue shirt with “Police” written across the back, wrestling with a bike and throwing out the occasional obscene word. Luckily, Cabana Boy and I had chosen a spot where we could quietly slip away…